I don’t cry often. But a recent experience while flying home hit me in the chest in a way that I wasn’t expecting. It was an unexpected moment of gratitude.

The plane was somewhere over the mid-west. I was flying back from the National PKU Alliance conference, somewhere between Colorado and Louisiana, listening to a Spotify playlist.

I love all types of music, especially classical. Well, to be more precise, I love Neo-classical music. That’s just another way of saying classical music that was recently composed. Not Mozart or Beethoven. Modern composers like Olafur Arnalds and Nils Frahm.

I was listening to a song called “On The Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter. There’s a part where the violins play a high melody, and as I looked out the window at that precise moment, I was struck with a profound sense of gratitude. I felt happy to be alive in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time.

I know that each moment can be your last, experientially. I know with every fiber of my being that we are not guaranteed another moment in this life. For too long, I let that knowledge send me into despair.

These last few years have been hard. There have been over 6 million deaths worldwide due to the pandemic. Over 1 million are dead in the US alone. I didn’t have anyone in my immediate family that died from COVID but I had a few extended family members who didn’t make it. And friends of the family.
It’s common when you’re overwhelmed to question, “What’s the point?” You lose hope.

But on that flight, I remembered the events of the last few days. At the NPKUA conference, I saw friends I had not seen in 6 years. I finally met others who I’ve only known on social media. I re-engaged in a community. And everything finally felt right again.

As I looked out the window and listened to this beautiful piece of music, I cried. I was thankful to be alive. Since that moment, I have decided to explore mindfulness. I’m reading a book called Wherever You Go, There You Are, exploring meditation, and continuing my yoga practice. Yoga is a source of physical and mental health for me. If I come across something in the book worth sharing, I’ll write about it in the future.

For now, I’m just going to keep learning to embrace the present moment.